It's just a wee bit of the unspoken, it's written. And I won't choke or stutter!

2012-02-12T02:21:00.003+08:00

I just watched A Little Bit of Heaven as per my brother's recommendation about one and a half hours ago. It was under the new-release rent category so I figured why not watch a light, happy movie before going to sleep cos we're gonna have to return it tomorrow anyway. Little did I know that it was quite the opposite. It was brutally sad, and that the cover was so deceivingly cheerful, I didn't bother to read the synopsis at the back and just assumed that it's a fun romantic comedy.

Deceivingly cheerful.

Aside from the fact that I was caught off guard, I think it was worth watching and losing some sleep for. It's about a gal who finds out that she has a terminal-stage colon cancer and losing chances at curing it. She had to die in the end, and it makes me think that sometimes we're just so oblivious to the fact that life itself is the most important belonging of ours, and it's just really taken for granted. I mean, if you ask me what's the first thing I'm gonna do if I find out that I'm not gonna live for long, I'd for sure, without any doubt, say that I'm gonna skip all my classes, eat anything that I like, and spend all my time left with my loved ones. That's good enough for me.

It sounds simple, isn't it? I mean it's ultimately the things that matter to me, or perhaps to most of us. But why do we spend so much time, energy and wrinkles going after the things that are not even in the top 3 or 5 of our bucket list anyway? Well, I guess when we have those things that we take for granted, we start going down the list. But little did we know that as we go down the list, we let go of the ones that we have, such as taking care of our health, enjoying life and connecting with others.

I think it's good to have a reminder once in a while. And it's good that I decided to spend my evening watching this. Well, a note to self: time for a new doze of romantic comedies.

cheerios

You better lawyer up, asshole.

2012-02-10T02:31:00.001+08:00

It occurred to me lately that certain scenes from some of my favorite movies have been etched so deeply they kinda linger at the back of my mind.

Some are simple cos I like them one-liners. Here's one from A Lot Like Love.
Let's start with my favorite quote..

"Lining my ducks in a row"

And...

"What's your stance on pancakes?"

"I'm pro pancakes."

How I miss watching Closer again. As I was searching for this particular scene on Youtube, I came across its opening scene with Can't Take My Eyes Off You (by Damien Rice) playing while Natalie Portman met eyes to eyes with Jude Law, and she said...

"Hello, stranger."

And one particular scene that made me like it so much just because of one word: Disarming.

"What would my euphemism be?"

"She was disarming."

Now these two give me the chills every single time. Again and again.

When Big was being such an ass**** and deserved hitting from Carrie...

"You humiliated me!"

And when Mark Zuckerberg was being such a big one too.

"You better lawyer up, asshole."

Alright, that's all I can think of. I should really go to sleep.

*poof*

Pushover

2011-12-06T22:39:00.001+08:00

I swear I'm grabbing life by the balls from now on.

2011-11-28T23:13:00.001+08:00

I like to keep my issues strong.

It's always darkest before the dawn.

-Florence Welch-

Mediocre

2011-11-25T00:05:00.001+08:00

By the end of the day, high risk equals high return.
So how am I not taking any risk in life?

2011-10-19T11:12:00.005+08:00

Woke up in an incredibly good mood today. Marketing lecture was fun. I always like it when people talk about running their own business. Two of the guys were from Stanford and Berkeley and they looked like they're really doing something in life. I always find this kind of people interesting. Wonder if my siblings and I are going somewhere with our plan. Maybe we can be one of them interesting dudes.

2011-10-06T17:44:00.000+08:00

No, this ain't right. I cant believe I've been trying to lighten up since 6 blog entries ago (that's almost 3 weeks ago) and it's still not happening. How did I get here? When did I get indoctrinated into this way of life so much so fast?

The boredom. OHMYGOD the boredom.

It culminated this afternoon. The feeling of constantly having something to do and believe me, really unpleasant things to do. Homework and projects and quizes and stuffs. I'm not born a nerd. I've never been a nerd. I used to play at the arcades the day before exams and played truant just for a high tea with friends. The point is, Im not proud of it but unlike people who study hard and like it, I dont. So when I do, I actually am not myself. Like totally not.

I should have stayed home. There's TV and stuff. And my siblings. My balance. My other life.

Or I should start befriend more people at school. So we can hang on a boring day like this. So I can prevent myself from writing blatant truths like this.

I've.got.to.have.enough.sleep.for.real.

2011-10-05T21:36:00.001+08:00

Very well stuck in my head

2011-09-30T10:34:00.005+08:00

Sara Bareilles - Uncharted

I'm not a big fan of hers, but I came across this song the other day on MTV Hits. I know.. who watches MTV Hits on TV these days? Well, I do. That's what mugging periods do to you. You watch things like E! News and The Bachelorette on TV and still be happy about it even though it's a re-telecast and you've probably watched it three times before. What can I say, I'm easily amused when I mug. Everything is a sweet escape from the books. Laundry, spring cleaning, taking out the thrash, you name it.

2011-09-28T13:09:00.001+08:00

By the end of the day, the tricky part is not to be indoctrinated into this dead-serious, dull and humdrum schooling life. Always try and keep the fun side alive.

Image is courtesy of http://blog.welikeitindie.com/2009/04/fun/

That thing that I know and we know.

2011-09-21T23:55:00.000+08:00

It occurred to me that as I grow older, it gets harder for me to make a connection with a person. We can chat all we want and not run out of topics, but there's always this boundary that I know and we know. I miss the innocence.

Faking it till I'm pseudo making it.

2011-09-20T20:31:00.003+08:00

Courtesy of thedailyawe.com

Fun things that I did today:
1. Talking about fun activities with my friends, like drinking and clubbing during breakfast at school instead of discussing projects like usual.
2. Going to Stats tutorial without knowing what's going on and not having the tutorial done the night before.
3. Going to Biz Ops, experiencing the same things.
4. Having dinner with my friends instead of going straight to the Hall, to my essay, eating alone.
5. Planning for a pool/bowling outing with my friends next week. (That's if we managed to accomplish what we're supposed to =P)

Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

The art of loosening up.

2011-09-18T03:19:00.000+08:00

I don't know when it started, but I've become a very serious person. I haven't been doing the things that I normally enjoy, like watching a good movie on a Saturday afternoon or watching Ellen on YouTube or blogging like this. You know.. simple stuffs. And it occurred to me that I havent been having my 'me time' in a very long time, even during my recent break before uni started. I got worried too much about ending it, I forgot to enjoy it. I don't like my current self. So uptight and nerdy.

I think it's time to focus on other things. And it's no longer education, anymore. I need to see more things, know new people, talk about different things, be inspired, watch more movies and TV shows, read the books that I like and not the ones that I'm supposed to, eat more differently, walk different pathways, think more creatively, live more lively and take life more lightly. It's time to explore. I need to find myself. I need to build my characters.

My life is not like the movies. Yet.

2011-07-22T09:53:00.004+08:00

People told me slow my roll I'm screaming out fuck that

Imma do just what I want lookin' ahead no turnin' back

if I fall if I die know I lived it till the fullest

if I fall if I die know I lived and missed some bullets.

Pursuit of Happiness - Kid Cudi

Gaga is the Martin Luther King of This Era

2011-06-07T00:50:00.009+08:00

I'm on the edge

The edge

I'm on the edge of glory.

Martin Luther King for the African-American civil rights in the 60s.

Gaga for LGBT rights today. Paws up.

Universal Studio

2011-06-07T00:23:00.002+08:00

It was fun, fun, fun and tiring today at USS. Everyone was having a good time. The Mummy ride was awesome so I took it twice. The Dragon roller coaster was surprisingly terrifying. Well, at least for me it was. That said and I didn't have the guts to take a ride on Human or Cylon. At all.

Boon took a ride on Human once and Cylon for five times. Jeez!

The Jurassic Park roller coaster was cool. It felt as if we were in the movie or something, with the capsized boat and the radio going static in the middle of the ride. We had our ponchos on, but it just so happened that my hood had to go off when we were thrown down and splashed real good. My hair was soaking wet. Sweet.

I brought home a Woody Woodpecker meal box for souvenir and a bangle from the Mummy gift shop. =)

My Achilles' Heel.

2011-06-06T00:58:00.004+08:00

If you ever happen to offend me and need to apologize, always find yourself equipped with this. I'd say, half the battle won.

Image is courtesy of foodhuntersfoodblog.blogspot.com

A Serious Post

2011-06-06T00:28:00.011+08:00

I figured that I haven't been doing much lately anyway, so why not blog about my days prior to uni for the next 2 months or so. At least I'll have something left behind in reminiscence of my transition from SP to N-something next time.

But then again, what have I learned, really? Have I changed for the better or for worse? Have I been more comfortable with myself, my thoughts, my portrayal of myself? Have I been more educated? Have I been more loving? Have I had more faith? Have I been better off? Have I been more honest?

Well, I can't really tell, but I'm kinda hoping that I've had more checks than rain checks as I go along the list. And why did I think of those things anyway? I guess they must have been important to me, subconsciously. Perhaps those are the things that I expect to be by the end of the day.

This is nice, writing like this. Haven't been doing this for a while. My writing is getting rusty. Nevertheless, who cares.

And how 'bout taking life less seriously? Or being one of those people who are annoyingly happy at all times? I wanna be one.

Well, we'll see.

Shuffle and Serendipity

2011-02-28T01:05:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, you'e better off letting things just be. Like instead of choosing the next song at the end of every song on your playlist, why not let it play on shuffle? Cos I believe our life runs on a shuffle by default. You don't want to miss that serendipity.

My Resolution

2010-10-12T02:20:00.002+08:00

When I was officially 21 years and a day old, it struck me kinda hard that I'd taken people for granted at times all the while. And it stings even more when you think about it while looking at a long list of cheerful birthday greetings from all kinds of friends alone like this.

So for my 21st resolution:
Be more appreciative and grateful. Quit taking things for granted. =)

And oh ya, off the top of my head, there's a bunch of people that I'm very grateful to have crossed paths with for the past one year. I hope we stay like this for long. I love the company. =)

2010-06-14T19:19:00.002+08:00

Why is everyone advertising on my blog? =O
Even though there's been no sign of life lately, Im keeping an eye on you, people.
*giving out the threatening vibe...*

2009-12-25T03:06:00.001+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Okay, that looks like one of them christmas banners. Nonetheless, enjoy the holiday season, peeps. And by the way, I do have the christmas feel this year. =)

Popcorn and Cheese

2009-12-18T23:58:00.016+08:00

Remeber when I had this line all over my MSN and Facebook status :

I want someone to eat cheese with.

Yea that was quite a stir for a while, and everybody was going, "I'll have cheese with you" or "Let's have cheese together" whenever they greet me or some sorts. Anyways, I didnt put that up for a reason, I just liked the line. Picked it up somewhere from a movie, I guess. But that's not the point. What I'm trying to say is that I've been kinda having this notion about "Popcorn and Cheese" for a while now, and I don't know why but I just had this urge to write about it right this second. I guess that's the kind of luxury that you can only have on holidays, isn't it? Writing in the middle of midnight like this, well it doesn't happen everyday.

So, what's there all about this popcorn and cheese thing is as simple as this:

The kind of person who you would wanna go out with and hang around much is the kind that you would wanna sit together and share a box of popcorn with, being quiet and feeling least awkward about it, simply because you know you're with someone you feel most comfortable with. And that's exactly what we call a buddy.

And the kind of person who you would wanna eat cheese with is the kind who you would wanna sit together and share a slice of cheesecake with, admiring, feeling awkward and worrying at the same time, cos you realize now that you've stayed quiet for too long, simply because you've spent most of the time trying to muster up things to say in your head, just to awe the person next to you. And that's exactly what we call crush.

And that's exactly what it is. Popcorn and cheese.

What happened to being dumb and happy?

2009-10-22T18:08:00.009+08:00

Always, one thing led to another, next thing you know, things stop being fun and start being under you skin. Whatever it is. Sometimes work, sometimes school, sometimes people, sometimes just 'stuff'. Suddenly not so happy anymore, if u get what I mean. More often than not, being ignorant and nonchalant makes the world a better place to live in. Being dumb and happy, they call it. Clarity, I say. So whenever I feel distant from myself and less happy, I abandon all 'stuffs', lay on the red couch, watch my favorite movies for the zillionth time, and befriend nobody but them.

To being dumb and happy!

She's The One

2009-10-13T21:57:00.009+08:00

She's called Balmain Suede Buckle Low Boots.

I skipped a heartbeat when I saw this.
Then I sobbed like a baby when I looked at the price.
Then I frantically converted EUR687.50 to SGD and I said, "Bitch!"

Then I looked at it for 5 sublime minutes.
I think this one goes straight to my must-have shoes list.
Straight up, up high.
Then I realized I dont have a must-have shoes list.
But there's always a start.

Soliloquy

2009-10-02T21:51:00.006+08:00

Have you ever felt like you haven't been catching up with yourself an awful lot? That's what Ive been feeling lately. There was the project period, then there came the reading period, the mugging period which made "reading" mean flipping thru the book while watching gossip girls, then there came the desperately-memorizing period which officially made "mugging" mean napping at 3pm every day. Anyways, that's not the point. Then what else, it was the exam period. TADA! The gory why-don't-you-just-kill-me-now exam period. And that's that.

But it,s okay cos there came the holiday rite after it. But well before I add a woo-hoo somewhere in this sentence, I gotta say that holiday was not all that much woo-hoo since I had to go on an adventurous trip and a series of preparations for my NYAA requirements. Don't ask me what NYAA is, just act like you know it and nod thoughtfully. Anyway, so the NYAA requires us to have some kind of adventurous activities like walking around the jungle while running from leeches and exploring tha bats cave with snakes in it and riding on speedboats and playing water (which is so much fun) or walking on the scary canopy, which all I've already done with a bunch of cool fun friends, which I gotta admit, is the only thing that kept me from leaving the place. O well, what I gotta say, I'm clearly not an adventurous person. Yes, it took me 4 days and 3 nights to realize that.

So, all details aside, here goes: woo hoooo!

And there was the real fun part where my parents and grandma came to visit for like two weeks, and the house became all cheery and alive, finally the signs of life. =P
All we did was going out and catching up and eating and having medical check-ups and mumbling and cooking and chit chatting and so on. Which I gotta admit, kept me preoccupied the whole time. And that's exactly what I mean.

It was fun and stuff, but Ive been lacking on my little quality time with my hobbies and personal space for some time now. And that is why Ive nearly forgotten how a soliloquy in mind used to sound. And it occured to me that perhaps, a little writing like it used to be, might help. And it did.

2009-08-04T23:52:00.005+08:00

Lagu kek gini nih yang bikin kangen rumah. Rumah, orang rumah, mobil, jalanan medan, tukang becak yg mangkal di pinggiran jalan bakso amat, parkiran, kalimantan, es buah, sate, ngobrol sama si shella di coffee shop anywhere deket rumah, sun plaza (haha), shella di jok mobil depan, temen2 yg pada plg skrg, bahkan sinetron (yes, sinetron) jam 6 habis maghrib, infotainment, ceriwis, artis2 indo and all it's drama.

This is hilarious

2009-07-25T18:25:00.004+08:00

Never knew that watching in a cinema can be this fun. And look at those people screaming in unison. 1:35 is just hilarious..... and looking pretty good, for sure =P

2009-07-23T22:12:00.002+08:00

When u're craving for whatever kinds of food, I'd say, this is the place to go. Not that Im biased or something, but this is me patronizing this(my sister's) blog: foodsholic.blogspot.com

Food....

2009-06-30T11:23:00.003+08:00

Let's patronize home industries with small yet aspiring artists which -in my opinion- make no less gorgeous products and are just too huge to be overseen. Check out the link below.

AVRIL D'ÉTÉ

Visit the blog at avrildete.blogspot.com

Stuck in my head:

2009-06-27T14:04:00.004+08:00

Cocoon - Hummingbird
Cocoon - On my way
David Choi - Won't even start

2009-06-26T23:50:00.003+08:00

This is between me, and me.

Me: Can I just not study tonight?
Me: No you cant afford to. since u're under-target today.
Me: Yea but it's friday nite.
Me: Ya, not for you it isnt.
Me: Tsk... who are u to tell me anyway?
Me: .........

And I was talking to myself. More like a soliloquy, but silently. In the bathroom to be exact. with my head wrapped in a shower cap and a duckie sponge in hand.
Mid terms. They change you...

The two concerts to die for.

2009-05-23T10:55:00.004+08:00

This would be my most honest and sincerest wish.

I've always liked on-stage performances. I wish Pink and Madonna would have tours going on here or anywhere else remotely close to where I live. Amen.

And I think they're the coolest chicks to ever walk the earth.

So don't sweat it.

2009-05-23T09:38:00.008+08:00

So..
I think I've finally come to terms with the fact that I no longer feel for writing. Not writing per se, more like writing about my daily activities, about events, or anything. It just feels too unimportant and irrelevant at such age to still be writing about those. I dont know why, but they used to get me excited whenever I share an entry or two about a "thing" or whatsoever. Not to mention when I was about to post loads and loads of pictures, god they used to thrill me, I swear. Thrilled by the idea that you guys would see it, thrilled by the thought that you guys actually cared about what's going on with my life. Which may not be true, at all. I mean let's face it, I'm no Britney nor Lindsay, so why shud you? Cos honestly, I may or may not be that interested in yours too. Now I wonder what's the thrill again if you could just simply remind me?

Well, that's just a part of growing up, I guess. We were all once too self-obsessed, self-important, self-absorbed, narcissistic, whatever you call it. And it's not like we're not any of those now, it's just that we are, but in an appropriate amount, dont you think? Yea, I think that's kind of the idea.

So from where I'm looking at it, it just all makes sense why I once used to have this sudden, yet unreasonable urge to post an entry about my day and what I had for dinner, to post pictures of unreasonably huge amount and to care and worry too much about what you guys would think. Silly, isn't it?

But well, that was just bound to happen. Part of the process, I call it. So, if you're still in that state of mind, I'd say.. embrace it, relish it, and let go of it. And in case you're wondering, the latest comes naturally. So dont sweat it.

2009-05-08T21:17:00.003+08:00

When the news reads like this everyday..

CK Tang delisting from SGX offering 83cents per share |
DBS reported a 28% loss for the first quarter .First H1N1 flu confirmed in Argentina | AIG selling its Japanese headquarters to Nippon Life for US$1b | Bank of China withdrawing from financing venture with Peugeot | Firefighters battle wind-fed Californian blaze | F&N profit plunging 17% | RBS reports first quarter net loss of 837million pounds | 22 deaths from Philippine typhoon | Brazil identifies first four H1N1 flu cases | Toshiba announces its biggest annual loss of $3.5b | Mas Selamat rebuilding new terror network in Malaysia | US troops killed Afghan civilians in air strikes

Are we better off or worse off, really?

And I just had this one line: My feet hurt.

2009-05-02T23:00:00.015+08:00

So I just realized a minute ago that I've been having this particular post-it hanging on my window pane right in front of my notebook for quite some time now. It reads:

Top up on 3rd March
Service aircon

Well, it's been there for like 2 months now, and I've been used to this view quite like I am used to seeing the way the picture frames stand, the duckie bank sitting next to them, the reading lamp on my left, the bookshelf on my right, the stuffed animals on the bed, my sister buried somewhere around there, and oh dear god the book that I haven't returned from the library right there. Shoot. =P
My point is, there's no rhyme or reason for us to take things for granted. Most of the time we just do. Out of nothing at all. And that's the problem right there

We were flashed this short movie in our first Film Appreciation class.
It's called "Mother", and it's the kind of short film that makes you weep, just for the heads up. A narration by Royston Tan (wiki) on a series of pictures for around 7 minutes. Now the bottom line is, it's about taking things for granted. Solely showing us how a son feels after years of rebellion by the end of the day when he finds that his mom is no longer there. Well it's touchy the way it's meant to be. Anyway, I tried YouTube, but apparently there's nothing there. I guess there must be some kind of a copyright issue. O well I wish I can share this with you but no can do.

And we watched a third of Forrest Gump for the following week after a session of roleplay. I can tell that I've watched this movie for like 6 times now, and never get bored of it. =D
But I'll most certainly do if you make me watch it again.
I played the nurse at park bench who's talking to Forrest Gump at the bus stop, if you still remember, or have an inkling of what Im talking about? And I just had this one line for the whole scene: My feet hurt.
haha..

*poof*

The defining moments.

2009-05-02T01:42:00.003+08:00

I've been pondering for some time now, and I think my sister might be right about one thing:

There's no such thing like a defining moment. And if there ever is, it's basically what the term "a flash in a pan" means.

2009-04-22T00:27:00.002+08:00

I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life.
Am I living it right?

-Why Georgia John Mayer-

random, I know.

2009-04-16T13:50:00.005+08:00

LOL

Anyway, it's my friend telling me that her sister finally gave birth to a baby girl, in case u're wondering.
Congratulations to cici Fiona and aunt Shella. Gee! u've got two cutie patotie nephews and one niece now. I gotta catch up soon or else people start calling me outdated. No, we dont want that.

hey sis, quickly set that date!
and bro, time to find someone now.
=P

and hey, IT'S A GIRL!

P.S. jangan hiraukan percakapan tentang "buku". =P

My first Political Election.

2009-04-09T15:23:00.011+08:00

So..

school's reopening soon, and my schedule's out. I have 7 modules to take for this semester, including one elective module (GEMs) under the arts & humanities. Well, Film Appreciation sounds cool so I just picked. And according to the module description, we're supposed to sit in a class and watch a movie in every session, so I figured why not. It's like going to a free movie every week minus the popcorn. What's even cooler is that we've got a moment of discussion by the end of each session. I mean, what's better than enthusiastically praising a very good film, and bitching about those lame-o tacky movies, rite? And what's best is that you'll even get a bunch of crowd who are willing to listen to all those commentaries. Babbles even. haha..

And here comes the suckiest part.....

THE 8 O'CLOCK CLASSES!!!!!!!!!!!
aaaarrggggghhhhhhhh......

son of a mother!

I luuurrvvv Tuesdays...

And look, look at that 5 hour break, for god's sake. I am soooo gonna skip that friday lecture at 3pm. I mean, who isn't?

Anyway, I attended my first political election today (since I'm over 18 now). Boy was I excited! It was the parliamentary election today, and there were loads of political parties to choose from, with any possible names and acronyms and colors, u name it. I've got my eyes on one. No, I won't tell you which one. =P

And here's the evidence that I participated in the election today:
the tainted pinky. =D

And we're having our presidential election in July. I guess I'm no longer in Indo by the time. Although we still get to elect at the Indonesian embassy in Singapore. Will do! =)

Well, holiday is fleeting but that's okay. I just cant wait to get back to school again. I miss it, somehow.

*poof*

2009-04-06T13:02:00.002+08:00

smoking-hot website:

www.purseholic.com

2009-04-05T21:38:00.000+08:00

Naïveté... now I see just what it is.
stupid, eh?

my new profile description

2009-04-03T23:28:00.006+08:00

I wish I could write something to wow you with my brilliance.

anyway, I guess my old profile description was a little too short and creepy and outdated. I sounded like an atheist with an extreme fear of sin. So, I reinvented a new description there on the right side. U can read. It's more descriptive but just as gibberish.

2009-03-31T18:43:00.007+08:00

..we find a new reason, a new way of living and we breathe it in and try to dream again.

I'm Dory, and my daughter's Rory.

2009-03-28T14:00:00.003+08:00

Well I haven’t done much lately. Not any actually, unless you consider isolating myself in bedroom, curling in a fetal position, watching Gilmore Girls and gagging every other 5 minutes as a thing. Then yes, I’ve done a lot of things. I’ve watched all the seasons of Gilmore Girls except for the first and second seasons. Ya, I’ve been watching it backwards, kinda. I first started it with season 4 all the way to the season finale, back to season 3, and now right from the start from 1 to 2. Watching it backwards adds the element of excitement to it. No, really. Cos it’s kinda funny how I just knew that Rory’s real name is actually Lorelai Gilmore, same as her mom’s, which was apparently told in the first episode of the first season. See, all this while I thought her name was Rory Gilmore. How ironic it is to not know that those two mother-daughter share the same name. Haha.. alright, you’re confused. Don’t bother reading from the top. Just move on.

So, the reason why I haven’t been doing much lately is because I spent the first week here sick. I didn’t eat much, I didn’t go any further than my garage, I watched only TV shows and infotainments, and have I mentioned that I didn’t eat much? Which defeated the whole purpose ‘cos getting back in hometown was supposed to be filled with knocking myself out with sinfully delicious food and not getting myself knocked out before eating any. But so be it, ‘cos I’ve recovered. Yes, I have.

And what about writing? Well, I gotta admit, I haven’t been much into writing lately. It’s not like I don’t like it, it’s just that I feel like my mind is totally blank. It’s almost like being in a complete Zen, and nothing can ever bother me. I have no opinions over anything, I have no say over things, and even if I do, I tend to have these scattered quick flashes of things to write, but they never get to last any longer than me setting up my laptop. So, I always end up thinking, “what’s that again?” and I can finally see how it feels like to be Dory.

Oh wait, I did think about some stuffs actually. Starting with what seems like the most important thing in life to be pondered upon, like if I were to dye my hair, what color would best bring out my eyes? Followed by a less urgent stuff to figure out like, Rory could actually be a very good word to name my future daughter. It’s catchy, it’s grown on me and I can just name myself Dory after that. And if it’s a boy, I’m most probably gonna name it Kent, with the middle name Tucky. Isn’t that fun? Let alone catchy, no one has a name like that!

Okay, I’m officially delirious by the end of that sentence. This is random.

Meet the most absentminded jerk to ever walk the earth drumroll…........................ IT'S ME!

2009-03-28T13:41:00.005+08:00

Just because I’m on a school break, it doesn’t mean that my mind has to be on a break too, rite? I refuse to be with every fiber of my being, but truth is, it kind of is. I mean, being nonchalant to myself is harmless. But when it comes to other people, I feel like an awful person. I actually shrugged by the end of the conversation when a friend of mine was telling me about her problems in her most exasperated and desperate manner, simply cos I didn’t have anything in mind, more like I was too lazy to even think of anything to add to “oh yea” and “oh well”. It’s not like I’m being selfish, but this mind is one hell of a wrecked machine that used to function and think, but it just no longer does it anymore.

The other day, I just sat there and slowly nibbled my lunch without uttering a word when the two people sitting right beside and in front of me were quarrelling incessantly, and I just sat there quietly till they both got tired and joined the silence, and yet there was not even a tad altruistic streak coming out of me to lighten up the awkward situation and smooth things over. I just munch and munch and munch.

Then the other day, there was this guy that I know of, who bullied and mistreated another person that I also know of, and I just sat there feigning death while the jerk was ranting and the poor person was being bullied. I should have kicked his ass, but I didn’t.

What the hell is wrong with me? Should I just panic now?

Diamonds aren't forever.

2009-03-11T17:50:00.011+08:00

I lost my diamond. One minute it's there and poof! gone by the next. No heads up, no farewell, no nothing. It's kinda sad, like I'm feeling a lil incomplete kind of sad, sad. :(

Okay if you're thinking that I'm going too mental over this diamond thing, you're probably right. Im just overreacting. It's just a diamond anyway, what do you care? You'll never understand how I feel. *sob*

Okay, Im just kidding, guys. Seriously. =P
Dont take me as a freak who cries over a plastic diamond for days, alright? Just don't. =P

Anyway, it just feels weird, that's all. I havent got used to it. You know, not having something sticking out and protruding from ur tooth? Okay, details aside. I'll just have another diamond fixed on it on my next visit to hometown, I guess. Or maybe I won't. I don't know, havent figured it out just yet. Or maybe a pink diamond this time would be nice. Nah.. let's see later. *shrug*

People say diamonds are forever. I'd say, not so much when it falls off your tooth.=D

Anyway, I had a little activity yesterday. I had a tryout for a two-hour archery class, and it turned out kinda fun. First five shots were a disaster. The arrows didnt even get to touch the tip of the board. =P

The rest of the shots was quite okay I guess, with a lot of hit and miss of course. And the string (if 'string' is what they call it) snapped on my left arm three times. A couple of bruises up there, and they hurt A LOT. And so I didnt join the second class today. I just stayed home and curled up under the blanket this morning. After all, it was quite fun. =)

Narcissism.

2009-03-09T17:27:00.006+08:00

While narcissism was originated by Narcissus the Greek hero who was obsessed with his own reflection in a pool by looking at his beauty which he was renowned for, people these days start redefining narcissism when they can't take their eyes off Facebook, Friendster, Myspace, you name it.

Yes, it's narcissism redefined in our generation today. One way or another, we can be so full of ourselves sometimes.

2009-03-07T22:29:00.005+08:00

If you've watched the latest episode of ugly betty, you'll feel familiar listening to this. Nice song, peeps. =)

Dedicated to a friend.

2009-03-06T10:12:00.004+08:00

Speaking of "celengan ayam", since my self-acclaimed-cute-friend brought it up..

and btw, this entry is basically referred to that friend of mine, mikka. who also claimed that she's now helping the US economy by having shopping spree every day and will increase the GDP eventually. Such an angel. I mean, where do you find a girl like her these days? It's like, oh wow it's so patriotic. I'm sure very proud of her.
anyway, where were we? oh yes, "celengan ayam".

I've never had a "celengan ayam" like most kids do in my entire life. ever. =P
celengan gw dulu bentuknya telepon, mi. haha.. u know, telepon yg klo mo di-dial harus diputar2 gitu tombolnya. it's green, and it's made of plastic. LOL
not so fancy like ur celengan ayam yg terbuat dari keramik itu, for sure. trus klo mo dibuka harus dilempar ke lantai trus pecah, ya kan? drama sekali. huahaha =P

yes, this entry is so very random, I know. I just had the sudden urge to write once the 'inspiration'(yea rite) kicked in in between my hectic schedule: watching The Simpsons and eating chips.

P.S. peace, mi.. we love peace (and sate and dvd), remember? dont do anything stupid like plotting a revenge on me or whatsoever. just dont.
=P

2009-03-03T10:01:00.008+08:00

DUCKIE BANK

Well, does it ring a bell?
well yes, it's my duckie bank that I talked about months ago.
What about it?
well again, it's finally full! =D

And by full, I mean it's so full there's hardly a space to slip in a 20-cent coin. And by full, I mean it's blardy heavy. No, really.

So I pulled the duckie head off its body, and pour them all in bliss. I almost felt like I'm insanely rich. Like all my wishlist came to life again. I could finally buy an island, take that trip to Europe or buy that yacht and put it on cruise control while I party with my friends. I'm taking bro and sis along with me of course. Suddenly life seems so beautiful again.
I counted it, and there are 34 dollars and 60 cents altogether. Happy as a pup with two tails.

and my sis bought the 20, 10 and 5 cents from me for her daily bus fares. I made 20 dollars out of it. (cos she paid me more). Such an angel.

Here's duckie with its head on again. So it's real. It's not imaginary.

What? What's wrong with my wishlist?

2009-02-27T23:36:00.004+08:00

Some people literally live in their own world. And by god they really do. And it's caving in on itself. Day. by. day.

I just feel like kicking their sorry butts sometimes.

Just in time when I said I had nothing to complain about. Well apparently, I do.
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. And god really has a sense of humor.

2009-02-27T10:26:00.002+08:00

If I think about it..

I now complain less than I used to. Cos maybe things have been looking up for the past one year. Although there are things that I’ve been worrying about. But they are just not preoccupying enough to get me complaining. I recall complaining and cursing in every other 5 entries in my blog 3 years ago. But it hasn’t been for quite some time now. Maybe I’ve outgrown that phase. But believe me some people never have. But that’s okay. Cos if you don’t complain to anybody, where else would it be if it wasn’t here? Understandable.

So here's for not complaining!! and I'm thankful for that. For whatever arrangement there is in my life that I don't need to complain much.

stuck in my head

2009-02-26T13:30:00.002+08:00

Who Knew - Pink

That's the way we get by.

2009-02-22T10:22:00.006+08:00

Heyy.. What's new is that Pink has kinda grown on me. Funhouse rocks! and Im currently under the spell of Sober, Funhouse and Please dont leave me. The video's quite psychotic anyway. haha =D

Exam's finally over! Woooo Hoooo~~~
alright alright.. not so much of a wooo hoooo anyway. I guess when you're not that young anymore, you just think it's so so. Holiday is just another break and that it's something I need, but not too much anyway. Cos when you've hit 2 weeks or so with nothing much to do, you're pretty much growing restless. Well, that's how it goes with me, at least. And Im not going hometown this time, so Im thinking of finding something to do. Well, let's see.

This is just how it works. When you're looking forward to your holiday while having your exams, you have a hell long list of what to do and where to go and what to write. But not so much when you're actually ON the holiday itself. I guess, the idea of wanting it matters the most. More than getting it, rite? And that's just how it is when it comes to wanting anyway, cos when you cant have it, you pursue it, but when you get there, it's all down to "Now what?". Well, isnt it weird how the minds work?

Later I got to thinking, maybe it's these small things that keep us driven every day. As small as looking forward to ending your mid term tests, which leads to ending your final exams, to having your holiday, to start your second year, to your sister's coming birthday, to that archery class you've booked weeks ago, to ending an era, to find a new distraction, to that sailing class that looks like fun in your head, to your working life eventually, and to millions of the unknowns that you can barely put up a visual for.

These are the things that you wake up to every day. It's somewhat relieving to still have them. Or else, what's there left to keep our lives humming every day? Not so much of the light at the end of the tunnel, it's more to getting there. And that's the way we get by.

thank u disillusionment.

2009-02-15T18:39:00.001+08:00

2/14 is the loneliest number.

2009-02-15T01:12:00.004+08:00

So..
here's what u talk about when you're all single and happen to be in a chat room on a valentine's day..

Da™ says:
today is single awareness day.
as i called it.

diah fl says:
so true.
haha
like we need to be reminded.
no we dont.

/-\ !_ \/ i /\/ says:
pas bnget.
lagunya gw.
haha

/-\ !_ \/ i /\/ says:
WHAT ABOUT LOVE???
lol
.
.

yes.. what about love?

2009-02-09T10:38:00.003+08:00

So this is what I've discovered about myself:

1. Exam's around the corner and yet I'm this much into writing. Which is so wrong, by the way. Such timing.

2. Apparently, I like sharing my favorite thingy with you guys A LOT. See? that pete wiggins video, this The Kooks infatuation and stuff, making me a big time quoter, or embedder, or whatever they call it lately.

3. I'm always in a fairly better mood whenever I wear my favorite blue shorts at home, somehow I always confuse Mike Myers with Miley Cyrus, and my shampoo smells like bubble gum.
Took me 2 weeks to realize it's bubble gum. I'm slow that way...

see how different they are? Still, I never fail to associate the two whenever one of the names pop up. Mike Myers.. Miley Cyrus.. I guess it rhymes, that's why. I do realize they're different. Just look at that. Although they both have long hairs. And I've got to admit he looks quite pretty here. =P

Hail The Kooks, people! Hail The Kooks!

2009-02-09T09:05:00.011+08:00

You know, I'm crazy about this song..

and this song..

Aren't they just awesommmmeeee??? I know... you don't take me as a huge rock-band fan and stuff, but what the hey I've always been a fan of these kinds of brit bands. arctic monkey, franz ferdinand, the killers!!!, muse, coldplay, you name it. And The Kooks, well they just keep humming in my head now.

Do do do do do do do do... ~~

Alrite alrite.. you know, when u're this close to ur final exam, YouTube just somehow becomes ur best friend, where supposedly your books shud become one. You know, boringly rectangular-shaped, made of pages, full of words. Sounds familiar? But nah, YouTube on the other hand, is your one and only entertainment when you need to spend the whole weekend grounded at home, mugging.
okay okay.. I shud probably get back to studying. Let's continue with the Accounting Entity....

Do do do do do do do do... ~~
Do do do do do do do do... ~~

oh cut it off!
see, this is what happens when you have a song stuck in ur head so bad you have Do do do do do do do do... ~~ in between your Consumer Price Index or Gross Domestic Product.

Do do do do do do do do... ~~
Do do do do do do do do... ~~

oh shoot I cant never get it outta my head!
and my housemate is probably gonna kill me cos I constantly sing to these songs day and night (as in since 8am in the morning to after 2am the next day)
and I believe it's loud.
and I shud lock my door first, just in case.
=P

OMG HE IS SO CUTE!

2009-02-07T12:41:00.005+08:00

Now this is real HAHA funny. you know what, we should watch more of these in between our muggings. Helps u blow off some steam. =D

Nineteen goes before twenty.

2009-02-07T11:13:00.010+08:00

When you're 17, everything was a big affair with the heart. When you've hit 20s, these things with the heart kinda figure themselves out for you. But when you'19, you're just somewhere in between.

And I'm 19. There are times where I'm wise, there are times where I go a little too drama over things. But that's all about being teens anyway.

When else do you get to screw up a whole lot, and finally feel like you're getting your act back together again before you hit 20?

I'm not Erin Brockovich.

2009-02-02T18:42:00.010+08:00

I haven't done this in a long time now, posting an entry out of nowhere like this. It's always been either on the weekends or on the holiday, but it's nothing like it now cos it's a Monday. Yes it's a Monday. scared enough? it's a monday and I'm writing blog. o wow..

O well.

I've always thought that I've got to do a zillion more important stuffs like my homework, flipping thru my notes every chance I've got, joining meaningful activities like a business seminar or banquet or prospective networking dinner or what have you, be in the social community, be in the coolest clubs at the campus, be seen in every other event, help stop global warming, save the earth, save the whale, and the list goes on and on.

So, it just occurred to me that I'll never ever have the time to post an entry without any particular reasons out of nothing at all on a Monday like this in my entire, WHOLE LIFE! and I had myself shocked for the next two and a half seconds before being able to slap myself awake. There will always be something more important and urgent and meaningful than writing here. But then I thought, it would make no sense at all if one day my obituary reads like this:

She was a very pleasant and sweet friend, daughter and wife with not really busy life but just couldn't set a time for doing things she liked.

And with the euphemism:
She was a busybody. She did many things. Well, here and there.

I wouldn't want that, and it would be ridiculous, since I'm not that busy, I'm not a president of a nation (I wish I would be a CEO of a company one day though), I'm not Oprah,and I'm not Erin Brockovich either. Even them have the time to do things they like.

So, I'll just keep writing. Not particularly here, I mean elsewhere will do. But i'll just write. And not feeling guilty about it. O well..

we find bliss during meals.

2009-01-26T02:44:00.006+08:00

o well.. back in hometown again. Got here in thursday morning. Bro n sis are here too!
Had THE dinner with family this evening, and hey it's new year all over again!
Happy Chinese New Year =)

We eat, eat and eat.. That's all we've been doing. Nothing productive, nothing fancy, we're keeping it low profile. We eat. =P
O well..

walk, don't run.

2009-01-26T02:28:00.004+08:00

There’s a thin line between jealousy and insecurity.

Is there really jealousy when you go around having your heart broken once, twice, thrice, when the truth is -as blatant as it is- it’s not about the picture that you’re looking at, nor about the two people cuddling in it, and it’s really not even about him, her, them, ain’t nobody at all. It’s just you.

It’s just you feeling sorry whenever seeing every other person being with somebody else, it’s just you feeling bad about yourself whenever their relationships are just perfectly fine, it’s just you not feeling happy for them cos you long for what they have, that you don’t, that you’ll probably won’t. And it’s just you regretting every goddamn single minute in your life, wishing that you were just a wee bit better in every way you are, every way you do and every way you live. And it’s just about you, if you think about it.

So why go around falling for people too much too fast, just to be around having your heart broken once, twice, thrice? When the truth is, it’s not about them not reciprocating, not even about the relationships that just can’t work themselves out. It’s only about you being not ready for one.

When you’re not ready, you’re not falling the right way. When you’re not falling the right way, you’re not aching the right way either. That so called jealousy of yours, it really is just insecurity. There’s no way of romancing your way out when it’s all mechanical, not chemical. Or better yet, don’t go around talking yourself into liking somebody an awful lot, when you’re not even ready when it comes to rejection.

There’s a thin line between jealousy and insecurity. But then again, there’s a fine line between being ready and being insecure.
So walk, don't run.

2009-01-01T12:01:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR peeps!!!

I've always liked first of January.
Countdown was at marina bay last night. did u see me on channel 5? haha =P

O well.. it's new year! yay!

Things that are lost in transitions.

2008-12-27T01:49:00.008+08:00

Is it just me or have you also overlooked the things that we’ve lost during transitions?

Like when we’re a kid, and despite our utmost effort of trying to know much and prove ourselves ‘big’, we’ve gradually let go of our innocence. Or it’s like those carefree attitudes that we’ve waved goodbye at, once gleaming over a chocolate bar is no longer considered ‘cool’ according to your fellow fourth-graders. Or maybe we’ve stopped showing affections when we start being embarrassed getting caught kissing our mom goodbye on both cheeks everyday before jumping out of the car in front of the school.

It’s these small things that add up to the way we are now. And if you think about it, you might find the reasons why you find yourself a little uptight today.
Sometimes, all it takes is just a wrong turn. But still, there’s room big enough for you to make a very dangerous U-turn right now, and back home.

Adding one more to my resolution.

2008-12-20T12:48:00.002+08:00

purseholic.com

New Year's Resolution

2008-12-20T12:12:00.019+08:00

So..
I figured it's about time for a new year's resolution. Here goes mine..

Save up

Having at least my duckie bank filled might be very good baby steps for me. =P

In case u're wondering, mine's not the shape of a pig. It's a duck. So there goes my duckie bank. Well, just trading information here.

Move out of my comfort zone
Tough. Well, at least having a toe out the zone might be a good start.

Consume less meat
I've made my peace with the fact that there's no way I could survive going veggie. Gosh.. the size of my love for meat, I swear!
I could never survive without chicken and shrimps.
Now the least I could do is to consume less. Although I think I've had fairly enough amount of vegetable daily. I'm healthy that way. =P
Better than the real thing!

Do some sports
Jogging around the neighborhood two to three times a week sounds healthy.

Move on

Day one, start over again.
Step one, with not much making sense.
Just yet I'm faking it till I'm pseudo making it.

-alanis morissette-

Counting down to the new year, peeps...

2008-12-14T13:16:00.004+08:00

Well, it’s 1.30 in the morning and I’m writing this just because I’ve successfully failed to keep myself engaged in my reads. And I’m just writing this in Word, not knowing if I’m ever gonna post this as an entry. Cos ya, I’ve got no connection at home. Again, for whatever kind of reason there is. So well, I’ve been trying to read up at least an article or two in the financial magazine that I bought last week. It by far, has been my utmost effort of at least trying to understand just what the hell is going on around us. The slowdown, the downturn, the collapses, the sub-primes, the mortgages, the bail-outs, the recession, the overconfidence turned conservativeness turned complete distrust, and what have you. And yes, I haven’t even finished an article. It just seems impossible to have done something quite serious in this kinda festive mood of mine.

I’m just keeping myself awake somehow. I’m waiting on pop’s computer downstairs to finish installing some Microsoft Office stuffs. And by god it’s been 2 hours now and it’s not finishing any sooner. I’ve had my supper, have watched Miss World on TV, have brushed my teeth and have read what looks like a one-third of an article in between, and yet, it’s just not finishing, is it?

Well, I don’t feel like sleeping anyway. More like listening to some corny cliché songs that I like so much it hurts with occasional sing-along and some typing activities. Sometimes the sing-along might get a little too overdramatic and disturbing, I guess. I just hope I don’t wake my maids up. =P

Anyway, I’m installing the Ms Office 2007 for pop. Hope he won’t have hard times getting familiar with the thing. Well, we all know that office ’07 and vista are more or less of a failure, with the euphemism not user-friendly, of course. =P

Strangely, I’m listening to a Cantonese song. It’s a little techno some more. But it’s not bad. It’s very groovy the way I like it.
Here’s a thought: Cantonese (the language) sounds sexy.

I attended a reunion party today. Just a thing I had with my old schoolmates over a buffet bar complete with appetizers, entrées and desserts at a friend-owned café. I prefer to call it high tea, cos it’s around 4 plus. Although by the end of 6, it feels like having a lunch and a dinner wrapped up into one. I didn’t have my dinner no more. And the reunion? Well, it was good, it’s alright. It just felt fun meeting friends and mingling and munching and laughing and talking, or was it babbling? Well, whatever it was, we should have more of it. =)

I just went down and checked on the computer. It’s finished. And I’m half asleep. Gonna get the other half now. So ciao, peeps.

Zzz

Me and my iron against the world.

2008-12-08T11:59:00.012+08:00

what do you think of this?

THE HORROR

Yes, you're right, peeps. It's the mighty heap of clothes waiting to be ironed. Scariest sight at home. Sitting at one corner of the house, threatening and heaping on itself . The menace that you sense once you set foot on the house. Creeping up on you. THE HEAP OF CLOTHES!

We've been trying to ignore its presence; me, my bro n sis. Although deep , deep down inside we just cant help but be disturbed whenever we throw a discreet glimpse at that corner. Yes, THE corner. But it's no longer bearable now. Now that exam's over, it's about time I deal with this. Me and my iron against the world.

Now I need you to do me a favor. Please check up on me every chance you've got, and emergency actions might be needed in case I havent gotten out of the room in three hours. Please make sure you bring along something for my lunch. Double cheese burger will do. Upsized.

THE HEAP OF CLOTHES is sitting in my room.
It's me and my iron against the world....

breaks, lauren graham and mojito.

2008-11-30T18:52:00.015+08:00

Put Lauren Graham and Ellen in one room and you'll get a blast.

I've been memorizing all day long. Management and Organizational Behavior, some would say. MOB, we call it. Words is all I see. So I've been memorizing words all day, literally. But what the hey, Management and Organizational Behavior is way better than any Fundamentals of Marketing(FOM) theory thingy. Somehow I got the idea that putting sophisticated terms and acronyms makes my blog look smarter. So does it look smarter to you now?

O well, dont bother. =P

I love breaks during mugging periods. You know, those short fleeting never-get-enuf-of-it breaks sandwiched between chapters. And usually I allow myself a break every other two. And I get my mind off any exam related stuffs, hardly. Well, of course with all the guilty feelings and worries that the half-an-hour break will soon end. Which is stupid, I know. But the only thing that keeps me enjoying my break is Lauren Graham on the Ellen show. I think she's the funniest guest. Shrewd, hilarious, funny Lauren Graham with her dry sense of humor. I have the nicest breaks. And in case you don't know who lauren graham is, I'd say oh come on! and she's Lorelai on Gilmore Girls.

Sharing with you the video here.
enjoy!
breaks or not.

Half an hour is up.

and oh ya, I'm having tests starting tomorrow and for the whole coming week.
See you on the weekend I guess.

Alanis Morissette

2008-11-28T13:30:00.008+08:00

She was all over MTV when I was about 6 or 8, tops. And I was always hopping on the couch at home with the TV on, tuned at the MTV music chart every Saturday afternoon, and Thank U was always in the top 5. I love her music. I was clueless by the time.

So there goes another naked woman singing and repeating thank-yous every other week for quite some time (cos she was in the chart for months) and I kinda liked the song. It had grown on me since the third week. And now even just listening to Thank U took me back into time and I always find myself picturing my home and me still in my Elementary uniform untucked, chilling on the couch while having my lunch, with my mom having the hardest times spoon-feeding me. It's always in saturday afternoons and I was always as happy as I could be cos I had no tuition whatsoever on saturdays right after school, and I kinda looked forward to MTV charts every weekend. Somehow I like it the old ways: Alanis Morissette, Robbie Williams, and when Justin Timberlake was still known as 'N Sync, before Pussycat Dolls became the new Spice Girls and no Ne-Yo or Rihanna for sure.

So maybe it's a little 10 years too late but Alanis has really grown on me. Well, since just recently I would say. And I find it a lil bit ironic how her music was too big for me to appreciate at that time, and it took me 10 years to be big enough to appreciate that.
She's an inspirational music maker with the wisest pieces of songs.

And this is as funny as it is ironic and true:

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic, don't you think?

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think

-ironic alanis morissette-

And this has been humming in the back of my mind for 24/7: all I really want

*poof*

I heart weekends.

2008-11-14T21:15:00.009+08:00

So.. what's new is as new as last weekend. Weekend is always the same. Catching up with some reads, homework, project and blablabla with occasional catching up with friends over steamboat buffet for dinner or catching up with Gossip Girls, Ugly Betty, Samantha Who?, u name it.. or maybe some occasional late night movies with bro over the nearest spot..

There, that's it. All my weekend wrapped up into one. I like weekends. It's where I lay peacefully on my red couch, sipping liquids and munching potato chips while laughing at whatever Ellen needs to say. Ellen is hilarious. I love Ellen. It's what keeps us all sane, this kind of show. We need more Ellen and less Oprah.

..........................noooooo....... oh c'mon, oprah is such an angel. =)

I'm not gonna bore u with my school days or any details, going thru it is enough, im not gonna retell it for no particular reasons. I had pasta and german balls for dinner. courtesy of sis. Nice munching. Happy munching. Im just as sleepy as I can be now. Brain dead. I can't even pull off a complete sentence, so give me a break. =P

It's amazing how people can be that far out. I had a worked-up someone telling me straight in the face, "I look at the mirror everyday and I say you suck," with a sensible emphasis on the last two words, within an appropriate decibel for humankind. I was speechless and things just went awry.
And the thing is that sometimes, we just can't seem to see how far out we've been, or maybe, haven't yet.
Sometimes it happens. You know, times where u flashback and just can't seem to understand why you've done something as embarrassing and as far out. But the good thing is that we change. People change.

Yes, people change. For the better, for the worse. I've been one, I've seen plenty of ones.

Anyways, it's my friend mikka's birthday today. Happy birthday to you! I just feel like I have to write it here somehow, dunno why. So if you're reading this, here's my greeting, again. haha..
Somehow, I'm just taken back into time. miss those days. Well, you know which days I'm referring to. haha..
see you when I see you. =)

I'm a radiohead playing Today by Joshua Radin lately. Check out Ellen and Portia's wedding(click me). Joshua Radin was playing acoustic and it's beautiful. It's simply a beautiful wedding.

till then.

Only real when shared

2008-11-09T10:19:00.005+08:00

I am competitive. It's in my blood. Well, at least it's rooting in my family. Okay, except for my mom. And if you think I am, I don't have a say. I think I am. But maybe not in a negative way. You know, envy, jealousy, all that stuff. I'm not one of those. But I am competitive. Only when I'm triggered. And I'm blaming it on my gene.

Well, what else?

I am now, and that's why I'm writing this. This is part of me trying not to be. Well, mainly because I don't see where I'm winning. But still, I'm competitive. Stupid, I know. But I do believe in the notion where things are only real when shared. So writing this surprisingly helps me to make my peace with me being competitive YET not winning. So, do you see where I am now? Rock bottom. I can either bow down, or bow out. Well, at least I'm no longer in denial. So just let the healing process begin.

And I'm kinda learning a new easy way out just recently: Blocking.
Is it just me or have you also realized all the glorious power and potential of blocking? Mind-blocking, to be specific. Well I tell you, it works a magic. You know, whenever you have all those ditches and bumps in life, like having to know some people that you are better off not knowing, but also knowing the fact that they somehow have to be there for a particular period of time in your life. And when that happens, there's no any other more right time to pull off a mind-block. So basically, you just have to deal with them, with no feelings, just smile, nod, and don't think of them any other time except when you have to, like when they're in front of you, or when someway somehow you have to look at them. Just block it. And if there's anything annoying coming from them, don't let it get to you. Just cut yourself loose. So I say, block it.

I no longer can afford to be competitive. It makes the world an impossible place to live in. Although it's in my gene. Believe me, if you still think that everyone is a good person, well you haven't tasted competitiveness. I've seen some more acute competitive people around me. They even live in their own world, caving in on itself. Clearly, I don't want to be one of those.
So yes, I'm less competitive by the end of this entry. See, writing this actually helps.
I'm at least a better person by the end of this quirky entry. =P

*poof*

I need a refresh.

2008-11-01T00:27:00.007+08:00

Found this somewhere on the blogcartoons.com.
Well, don't we do that sometimes?

PURSEholic is back!

2008-10-29T15:06:00.004+08:00

Lookit!
I noticed a long-awaited activity going on in PURSEholic, finally! Anyways, it's my favorite bag blog. So check it out, peeps! and indulge ur eyes on the latest entry of the Louis Vuitton Monogram Canvas Etoile. oooohhh~~
And take a look at the Mulberry Mabel. The electrical blue is just oh-so-irresistable it reminds me of bon bons. haha.. O well, I just wanna grab it in both hands. =)
And YSL Muse.. oh well YSL Muse is just THE bag. It's my all-time favorite classics *drool*... o well, besides Chanel 2.55 of course. =P

Anyway, if u guys ever noticed, I have the link to PURSEholic too here on my blogroll. Let's keep updated.

Now try this.. if u think of bags, think of PURSEholic! Careful though, it might be a beginning of an era.
haha =P

PURSEholic all the way... ~~

People live in their most peculiar ways.

2008-10-27T02:20:00.010+08:00

When I was walking to school the other day, I saw this old man standing by the traffic light, waiting on his cue to cross the street. You know, in singapore, or maybe in some other countries too, we have this traffic light button attached to the light pole that you push whenever you want to cross the street. So basically, it's designed for you to push once, and then you wait. Now, one of the things that are disturbing about certain people's traits is that some people like to push this button so hard and so incessantly you could actually sense a streak of exasperation wreaked out on it. The anger was reflected so clearly and honestly, the button is innocent so give it a break. And it's not like you get to cross any faster when you push it a hundred times. Believe me, it doesn't work that way.

I couldn't help but wonder, are people so stressed these days that they need to wreak their anger by any means on anything they come across? If this is so, wouldn't the world be a dangerous place to live in?

Anyway, I was at school a couple of days ago when I was queuing for lunch at the foodcourt. There were these two guys standing behind me talking, well, clearly not in discreet, cos I could hear every word they said so very distinctly by exerting the least effort and no intention at all to ever eavesdrop on them. Well, they're just as loud as they could be. Here goes..

Guy A : oh my god, did you see her?
Guy B : Yea, can you believe it?
Guy A : She’s like so fat!
Guy B : What, did she like gain 10 kilos or something?
Guy A : And her make-up, did you believe it?
Guy B : Ya lohh, that was so gross!!
Guy A : And she’s bisexual some more!
Guy B : How do you know?
Guy A : dude she wrote on her blog. She wrote mild bisexual. Well, mild bisexual.. I think it’s so obvious, man. It’s like 100%!
Guy B : Ya lohh..

O well.. Isn’t that disturbing? The problem is that the whole thing was coming from two guys, can you believe it? Two guys!
I just couldn’t help but tilt my head and see how they looked like. I don’t know why, I was just curious. But turned out, just looking at them made it even more annoying for real.
no, really.

Later in the day, I was walking home from the train station as usual when a big fat van drove across me. I was on the sidewalk at that moment and to my surprise, there was a guy looking back at me from the window in the front seat, smiling pervertedly and blinking coquettishly at me three times in a row. I was stunned to my very core and was just able to look at him in awe. O well.. whatever happens to guys these days.

You know, when you’re meant to witness some weird things or weird people acting kinda weird, you just will. In unexpected ways, at unexpected time, in unexpected places. Believe me, they’ll just happen right there in front of you, straight on. And please, don’t even bother to try and run. They'll just find you, somehow.

Prior to dinner.

2008-10-22T17:59:00.005+08:00

I'm just counting the minutes to dinner. It's almost 6pm and I'll feel guilty to start dinner any sooner than that.
I've planned what I'm gonna eat though. curry noodle, one egg and two hams. oh wait, make it three. Three hams.
I'm starved.
I'm trying to distract myself.
Writing this is not helping though.

It's 6 now, or at least 5.59..
Off I go to my dinner.
This is random, I know.
Don't bother.

something like it.

2008-10-18T11:23:00.009+08:00

You know, the only thing that’s sadder than not being able to be with someone you like, is having to be a good friend to him/her.

And I’m not talking about some ordinary friend that you meet once or twice in a year kind of friend, I’m talking about the friend who’s always there with his listening ears wide open to stories about any sweet dandy weekends that the girl’s had with her recently new-found crush. And that’s when the friend gets crushed at the same time. Now it’s only about time where things get worse and next thing you know, they’re happily in a relationship.

Now the only thing that’s sadder than being a good friend to a person you are crazy about, who’s now in a relationship with someone else, is having to listen and witness the happiness that is proudly splurged right there before your eyes. There is no way you could escape and, if anything, it’s like rubbing your face in it, unless you end the friendship, which is so unlikely, cos you don’t have the heart to leave him/her, cos at the very moment, you literally love him/her more than yourself, cos if you probe yourself really carefully and honestly, deep deep deep down inside, you’re still hoping that things will just flip the other way round. Which is stupid, if I may add.

It’s funny how a person could appeal so disarming to you that you strip all immunity and let down your guard. Whatever it is, it’s thick like quicksand and you’re just gonna pickle in it.

And let’s say if things get a little bumpy between the two of them, first thing he/she needs is a little of nothing but your shoulder. There’s no rocket science in there. And being typically a place to crash that you are, you give the most consolation, you keep him/her positive, and you even give solutions, for god’s sake. But despite all your effort as a friend being a good friend to a so called best friend of yours, you set your eyes sparkling and gloat as naturally and as humanly possible. And don’t say you won’t, cos after all, we’re all humans.

People say it takes half of the time of being in love with a person to finally forget him. So, if you’re in love with a person for a year, then take as much time as six months to allow yourself to mope and wallow in grief. But more often than not, you wake up one day, and next thing you know, it’s been six months, he/she moves on and you still feel exactly the same. But that’s just life anyway.

I couldn’t help but wonder, is there such thing like staying friends for the rest of your life with a person you’re once in love with?

Or do you wish that you’ve never met him/her?

But I’d say, sometimes friendship might offer more to you, even more than you could give. And by the end of the day, you might end up getting something less transient and who knows you’d one day regret not risking to cross path with that someone. If you could handle a heartbreak, could a successful friendship be that far behind?

Somehow, I'm an optimist in this thing called friendship. Or someting like it. I know some people are the pessimists, but that's just me.

this is one quirky inspiring song.

2008-10-16T23:07:00.012+08:00

Liz hates her body, her baby body. She thinks that everybody's looking at the way her figure's changed. But she hates that public transport moves so slow.

Regrets her haircut, a career-ruining haircut. She should have got it cut by her student friend, he's asked her to for weeks. But she's on this bus, it always moves so slow

You wanted everything to change but you could only change your name.
You've got to rise above it now, you're more important than the game.

Gazes in awe on those stupid morons. Who buy those magazines to paper tudor mirrors of their homes. But she wonders how many people buy them for the summer factor.

She's making pictures, collaging pictures. A microscopic version of the way they're crowding in her mind. But this bus wastes roughly one-twelfth of her day.

You wanted everything to change but you could only change your clothes.
Standing in the supermarket aisle you know these fuckers never close.
They never close. You know these fuckers never close.

You wanted everything to change but you could only change your name.

-youth group baby body-

I might wanna get that line for my bumper sticker one day.

2008-10-15T14:50:00.004+08:00

thanks to Peiling for the graphic greeting she made for me. ^^
and thanks to Ed Dolf for the picture that he'd designed for me too. ^^
I've got two of those from him now. there was another one from last year's, so hey, thanks for remembering!

A day with the BHBs.

2008-10-14T23:11:00.019+08:00

I had a celebration with some of my classmates(beizhen, amanda, peiling and hweimin) yesterday. It was during the lunch break at school, and it involved a very cute and delicious cake smothered with a red two-seater wagen. haha.. this is the most unique birthday cake that i've ever had, peeps. It's made by Hweimin's mom, and I really appreciate hweimin's effort of holding the cake in the train for a very long time, plus she had to religiously hide from me when we sort of bumped into each other at the station. She said I was looking at her point blank while queueing for the ATM, but luckily I went blank for a while at that moment and was just staring at the empty space so I didnt see her. haha.. And I'm wondering where she hid the cake during our classes and breaks cos I aint see no cake the whole morning.

aaaaanyway, why does it have to be a wagen? I guess it's bcos they know just how much I like classic cars, and I kinda have this wallpaper of a red classic car up on my desktop all this while. so everything just kinda adds up. me likey!!

Anyway, there are some words written below the car which reads, "Queen of BHB" with a blue icing. Well, it's sort of an inside joke actually, and BHB actually stands for "buay hiao bay" which is kinda untrue, cos I'm like the nicest person ever. They just fail to see that. I think they're like some kind of blinded or something. haha =P

cute chocolate wagen cake from the BHBs.

they had a bunch of those relighting candles on the cake. I knew it! nothing's ever right with them. haha.. I blew thirteen times. Good thing I didnt suffocate. =P

And here's a birthday card from them. Still, the biggest card I've ever received. haha..

looking at one side..

the little box at the bottom right reads, "World's 'Fastest' Runner's Birthday falls on 11 October 1989".. okay, that is sarcastic. they all know I can never run. I've always been the last among the five of us whenever we walk or hike the mountain on our outings last time. I've reached the age where adults dont run anymore. only kids do. =P

on the flip side..

There were notes from them. The upper left side was from Hweimin, followed by Peiling's right beside of it, Amanda's at the bottom left, and then Beizhen's at the bottom right. I'm touched, u guys.
And they said they'd ordered a T-shirt as a present. I havent seen it, they said it's shipped from USA, so we have to wait for a week for it to reach here.
Thanks a whole bunch for the BHBs!!!

Later after school, we went to city hall and had meals at NewYork NewYork. We spent like 2 hours there and then we went straight to the Esplanade. Took some pictures too..

she's very pretty like this. and she's called AMANDAH!
hahaha =P

later in the day, I was happily sitting by the river at the Esplanade, and mishap befell on me. People say, good things always come to an end, or good people always get bullied by the bad ones, or any ways it could possibly be, u name it. And reality spoke itself. They suddenly smeered my face with cream! and I looked like this..

i'm creamy and i'm gorgeous. =P

And that was that. Had a lovely day yesterday, and I just can't thank them enough. ^^

*poof*

my 19th

2008-10-13T23:10:00.020+08:00

I practically had the whole day well spent with dearest friends after school today. Well, it's part of us celebrating my postponed birthday together with them actually. Anyway, before going thru the details about today, let's take a ride back to last friday cos i'm just about to update u with some happenings that have been going on for the past few days.

So, I had a bunch of my friends shacking up under my roof Friday night. We had some take-outs, did a little shopping at the nearby supermarket, ordering in pizzas and KFC's, made our own chocolate fondue and had cakes. We started at like eight-ish, and they pretty much stayed over till like 1.30 in the morning. Well, nothing much we could do except for playing cards, games, chit chatting and eating. Here's what's gonna explain the whole thing..

so here's me and the cake.

me and the cake and everybody. sis was actually taking our pic here.

and I had to take all the candles out with my mouth. And I had the candle crumbs all over my teeth. it tastes like feet. haha =P
cake's good though. chocolate cake. i mean, what's not good? chocolate, for god's sake, chocolate.. =P

And then we listened to a couple of songs, michael and sherly sang to it, and we hanged for a little while till it was past midnight and over 1 in the morning. Made some cleaning and friends headed home after it. Nice party, peeps. ^^

Here's a present from everyone. A shot of me when I was visitting the botanical garden with willis the other day. I was actually helping her as the model since she wanted to take shots. She's in photography, anyway. And this is one nice shot. They had it framed and wrapped oh-so-sweetly, along with a card.

I actually didnt remember I ever posed like this. haha

So, those were the gifts from everyone, and eliza got me an additional gift too. It's this cute little pie cakes with strawberries, peaches, kiwis, and longans on it. Cute thing!

And that was all about friday night and saturday morning.

Later on and still saturday morning, I went to an opthalmologist with my sister and had my both eyes checked. Yes, I know, I went to an opthalmologist on my birthday. it reads weird, even for me. =P So anyway, I had these eyedrops in order for my eyes to dilate properly before getting checked, which apparently made my eyes blurry for the next 6 hours. It felt weird and it's like the sunshine was too glaring whenever I was outdoor. So I didnt do much in the afternoon.

Well, I had dinner with my sis and chengto in the evening. I had this insane craving for Thai's, and so we went to Parkway Thai at Robinsons in Orchard. The food was good and the tom yum soup was a kick in the butt. I perked up more than I always do with my coffee. Tom yum is the best.

Pictures are with sis. I'll update later. Sis, send me the pics, okay. U dont have it here in ur lappy anymore. I think u deleted them.

Okay im gonna make this quick. im soooo blardy sleepy now.

Well, on Sunday. I met Sonia and Sherly on sunday, and watched burn after reading at three-ish in the afternoon. Funny movie anyway. Sonia got me a lot of gifts. =P she got me this and that , and I was like stunned senseless. haha =P.. Anyway, we've got pictures of us, but they're not with me, so I kinda have to wait. =P

a box of chocolate, a bouquet of roses and a necklace from my duckiee. thanks dear ^^
anyway, it was like oh-so-romantic. haha =P

And then I had dinner with sis and JeyK and Kelvin and Pegrina after that. We had Thai's, again. I know, again. The food was good and the place was quite highbrow. It's Sabai at Taka. Nice dinner.

And here's a present from them. It was nice and red. I like red. Red is good. I've always like this kind of bangle.

And so dinner was until 10.30, over a long chat and jokes and chat and jokes.

And that was my weekend. I'm gonna put up some more pictures when they're here. I think im half delirious now and it's not good. My back hurts and my neck can no longer hold my heavy head. I think my cholesterol is high. and Ive got to sleep. I need my sleep. and im literally writing sentences now. just sentences. sentences with no links. and that's not good.

okay ive got to sleep.

ciao

P.S. there's gonna be a hell long entry about today with my classmates, and i cant do it right now. pictures arent with me yet, and im too tired to write. oh.. my head, my neck, my cholesterol, my 8am class tomorrow... okay, im going.

this is hilarious.

2008-10-09T14:10:00.020+08:00

So I didnt come back here empty handed. Guess what, I brought along a whole lot of my childhood photos! they're those ancient photo albums from when we were 1 year old or several years older, tops. We have this giant oldie made-of-iron cabinet that pretty much holds every piece of our memory in it back at home in Indo, and finally I got to take out some photo albums and brought them across the ocean here. haha =P

the first look felt like a retrospect, and I just couldn't help but laughed my heart out. cute bro and sis, cousins, friends and mom and pop. enjoy!

so that's my bro in red, my cousin jessica beside him, my sis in her favorite yellow shirt (other than her favorite pineapple shirt, I guess), and my mom with me on her laps. I just had three hairs and they're all spikey. haha =P
see, my mom still had that very retro kind of hairstyle. u rock mom!

so this is me in my blue shirt with my cousin Jazreel who's one little tiny year older than me on a kayak or some such. I guess that was on a beach. we used to hang out a lot on the beach with the whole family. aunts, uncles, cousins, all of them.

and this is my itty bitty teeny little cutie patootie cousin Novita in her swimming coat. Look at how small she was. sooooo blardy cute. and this shot was exactlywhere I coulndt stop laughing at. she's always been that cute. but now she's a grown-up girl, looking pretty and a lot like Shu Qi. haha =P

Anyways, I had this weird habit where I felt like placing my hands up against my hip just like those on pictures. I google-d it and apparently it's called akimbo. it's some kind of a term, I guess.
So anyway, I was very into the style of standing akimbo until one day, I remembered I was around 7 years old at that time and was called by my teacher to stand in front of the class. And without failing, I undoubtedly stood akimbo for sure. My teacher took a helpless glance at me, and told me that standing akimbo was considered bad, especially on the occasion of when your teacher asked u to stand in front of her, moreover in front of the whole class. It's impolite for a young girl to do so. And I felt like burying my face in the ground. And so that was the last of it, of me standing akimbo. And so I gradually grew up to being such a polite, nice and elegant sweet girl that I am. Thank you teacher. hahaha =P.. o well.

and this is me with Jazreel again, playing with the sand. She is and has been very cute since little. Look at that cutie little face. It's like she's western born or something; and I had no pants on. cool!

me and Novita playing the water. She's got that hamburger face, you see. Looks like a hamburger.

this is me with my cousin Marco. He surprisingly looked real handsome. hahaha =P
It was at my cousin Jessica's birthday, Marco's big sis. I used to play a lot with him. We played all kinds of games from video games, basket ball to toy cooking. I was the chef pretending to cook and he was the customer pretending to eat. No wonder we suited well.

me + marco = fun and peace

In games, once the roles were clearly set out, we would usually play in peace and harmony........... .....................................................................................................................................................................................................
until disaster came where Novita and Jazreel were added into the equation.

me + novita + jazreel + marco = marco crying

so usually when the two of them joined the game, they'd most probably pick on marco and kick him out of the game. When it came to video games with just two controllers, we usually switched among me and novita, me and jazreel, novita and jazreel, and that's it. right back from the start. And marco never got the chance to play. He would just sat beside us for some time and start crying at the corner of the room, or sometimes on the stairs.
marco and the other girls were not quite fitting together. my poor little lovely cousin. haha..

Speaking of birthdays, we had this tradition where all the family and friends would gather at grandma's and celebrate together with big cakes and big presents. It was all so redundant, since we didnt even understand what it meant, but fun, considering we got to play and make noise.

this is my bro's 7 year old birthday party. there's my cousin Donny on the left, followed by Jessica, bro and sis.

this is my sis' birthday party. I guess I was one or two year old at most.
that's Josephine (the younger sister to Jessica), me, my sis, my bro and Jes.

and TADA! this is my one year old birthday party. I had the biggest teady bear cake. yay!
Look at that bunch of satay. It's oh-so-stunning, not in a very proud tone though. haha =P

marco and me.

now, do u see that woman and her kid with their faces scratched with blue ink?
that was courtesy of my siblings, who thought that since it was my birthday, I was supposed to be standing in the center of the picture. Since the woman and her kid stole my thunder, the birthday girl, then the only appropriate punishment for them was to be scratched on the face. Was it me or them who scratched it? Either way, I'm sorry and please understand, I was just a one year old kid with evil siblings. what do u expect? haha..
and if it was me who scratched it, I was most probably incited or at least framed by the siblings. Yesh, blame it on the siblings. that's what they are for.
hahaha =P

And finally, here's me in my dress of pride.
dont shock yourself.
dont say I didnt warn you.
.
.
.
.
.

O well..
This was taken during my first visit to singapore with mom and pop. I guess there was this costume rental place and my parents just put me in one of those. I had fun though. haha..

I bet I felt like I was the queen of the world.
haha =P

*poof*

I'm good.

2008-10-09T12:28:00.007+08:00

So..

back in singapore. Holiday's still on until this weekend and school officially starts this coming monday. Having this whole week off feels like I'm having all the time in the world. Anyway, I just took a stroll down to the nearest supermarket, buying some toilet papers and hams. The exposure and migling around the crowded places felt nice. I always like my groceries-shopping day. Somehow I realized I'd put a vivid enough smile on my face without meaning it after a brief talk with a survey conductor hanging around the street who took the chance to make a joke out of my toilet papers. And I thought to myself on my way home, "it's a beautiful day, no rain, no fuss, and I'm actually putting on a smile without realizing it for the whole walk which I'm enjoying." It later occured to me that it's not like I'm feeling great or top of the world, it's just that I'm good.

I'm good.
...
...

Well.. I was good until halfway home. You see, it's almost impossible to keep the positive energy around for long in this city where you have to walk and start sweating like there's no tomorrow with 30 rolls of toilet papers in one hand and a plastic bag in another. And I'm sure as hell I'd started putting on a frown instead, cursing the speeding big-ass buses that passed by with their lots of noises and fumes. So the whole rest of the walk was more like, "what's with the weather today? hot like hell *dang*.. goddamnit these buses cant get any faster *son of a mother!*.. damn what's with this stiff wind huh? my hair's messy enough *shit*.." and another couple of those till I got to the elevator. =P

but after all, I'm good. With all the buses and shitty weather aside, I'm good. I'm feeling good about everything just kinda fine.

i'm a radiohead playing for the love of you.

2008-09-30T17:07:00.011+08:00

It's downpour raining out there, and I'm sitting by the window pane looking out to a bunch of trees with raindrops in a shivering cold empty room, listening to this song I've been falling for since the first time I knew of. For the love of you by The Isley Brothers. I think this might be my all time favorite love song other than Prahara Cinta.

Speaking of favorite songs, here's a list of my fav songs..
Love songs:
1. For the love of you by Isley brothers
2. Prahara Cinta by Rako Prijanto (this is not him, cant find one, so here's something like it)
3. sampai kapan by Maliq & d'essentials

just-favorite songs:
1. Brighter than sunshine by Aqualung
2. old habits die hard by Mick Jagger
3. kesepian kita by Pas Band

now, the all time heartbreak songs.. o well =P
1. that I would be good by Alanis Morissette
2. how can you mend a broken heart by Al Green

I attached For The Love of You on this page anyway.
Actually, I've heard and loved this song since I watched Alfie, from the scene with the pool table and I've been looking for this song all this while without knowing the title and the singer. So I was in this restaurant today having lunch with a friend. I was listening to her talking where all of a sudden, there it was, for the love of you played in the background, and I was as stoked as I could possibly be. I mean, finally I found it!!! I dont usually do this, but I kinda lost my focus with just what my friend was talking about and all I could think of was to wave at the waiter and ask him just what the title was. I think I was like preoccupied for the whole 3 minutes during my friend talking, and I'm very terribly sorry that I did that. But then again, I tried my ass off to listen attentively to her, and as soon as she finished her last line, I nodded thoughtfully and waited for 3 seconds before I waved at the waiter. haha.. feeling guilty to do that, but I just couldnt help but be preoccupied since the beginning of the song. =P

Anyway dont mind the melodramatic entrance with all the window pane, raindrops and shivering cold room. it just happens to be raining here and I just happen to be in my room with my air conditioner on. haha =P

okay.. i should be too idle to have linked all the songs to youtube. haha.. anyway, go ahead, click it and enjoy them the way I do.

yearning for thrill is part of our genetic code, like farting.

2008-09-29T20:52:00.004+08:00

Remember when I talked about how great it would feel to do something extraordinary on a whim, like joining a pageant or slapping a random person on the road in one of my posts? (go ahead, click me) O well, I’d just forgotten how great it felt to do one, until yesterday where I was in a salon and had my hair cut to its considerably, shortest. Well, now the hair barely touches my collar. And I’m kinda in love with my new hair.

And no, I didn’t slap or punch some stranger in the face. =P

You know, what's fun was the fact that it was just oh-so-casual where I knew I had a 12.30 o’clock haircut appointment on a particularly blah Sunday, to which I went to , bearing in mind that I’d just have my hair appropriately shortened by, you know like 8 to 10 centimeters, and have my fringe neatly trimmed to what looks like above my eyebrows. So I had my hair washed, dried and ready to be cut while turning over some hair magazines and starting considering that a short hairstyle might be a better way to go. There were a bunch of these looking-good styles on the pages and I kinda narrowed it down to like the three of them. You know, the idea of chopping off the whole lot of my considerably very long hair all at once really made me nervous and it almost felt like having butterflies in my stomach and having them flipping out, all wrapped up into one. And when it came my turn to have my hair cut, it actually felt kinda great where I thought to myself, “okay, this is it. Get your ass there and get it over with.”

The process felt like riding a rollercoaster where I got off and felt thrilled and satisfied, with occasional teasing coming from the hairstylist where he kept on asking me, “so, is this short enough?” and me nodding and smiling with the look of, “what are you crazy?” and him laughing.

Well, I’ve got to say that it all felt pretty good, like I’ve accomplished something somehow. So, if you’re feeling bland with your life like you’re some kind in the middle of a dry spell or bereft of the so called life sparks, just get your ass out there, be spontaneous, get on the stage and dance freestyle, paint your room red, confront that annoying person you’ve been eyeing on, go make a confession to someone you have a crush on or read a very lame poem out loud in the middle of the hallway. Just go and stun it senseless. Cos peeps, it always feels good to spice things up. Cos after all, yearning for thrill is part of our genetic code, like farting. =P

*poof*

2008-09-22T19:13:00.001+08:00

Do you know what I just did out of boredom?

I just had a pack of instant noodle with six meat balls and an egg. And I wasn’t even feeling hungry.

Thought this might be a good reference as to why I put on some extra kilos the next time you see me.

Reporting from the far far away land.
S.O.S

Perception is Reality

2008-09-22T18:46:00.003+08:00

I was standing at the train station the other day, waiting for a bunch of friends while talking to another bunch. Then, there was this one guy coming our way and talked for a little while with one of us. I wasn’t really paying attention until a friend of mine said, “He is so gay.” I looked, and he’s gone, but I kinda knew who it was. It’s just this some guy from school.

It later occurred to me that we are indeed creatures with one-pointed views. Of all the traits and impressions that the guy signaled at that very moment, in fact how many of us standing there caught the one and only impression of him being gay? And believe me, that was solely the only thing we had in our minds in that whole two to three minute encounter. We’re indeed biased without us meaning it.

I mean, the guy looked okay when he talked. He didn’t look swishy or dandy or anything for all that matters. He just had this one big bag hanging over his shoulder, he was holding on to its holders with both hands while talking, and I guess he liked wearing tank tops (cos I’ve seen him wearing tank tops several times). So, how gay was that? Is there even a measure to how gay a person is? My point is, why didn’t any of us say any other things besides gay?

Well, obviously my friend could just say,” He’s good-looking”, or “He’s smart”, or even “He’s loud”, cos he kind of was. Cos believe me, if we cared enough to pay attention at the way the guy talked, the way he behaved, or the thing that he was talking about other than his disconcerting shoulder bag and tank top staring at us in the face, I daresay we could know more about this guy and not just gay guy. But now we never know, do we? cos he could be anything. He could be funny, maybe he talked about funny things the other day, or he could be charming, or annoying, or he could either be smart or a smartass, he could be intellectual or all talk, or real kind at heart, or even none of those, not even gay. And we never know.

So do you see where the problem is? I think we’re seeing way too shallow. Sometimes, it’s not what we see that’s superficial, but it’s us seeing through naked eyes, believing just the frame of mind, and satisfied with just the nutshell.

Imagine how different things could be if we delve deeper than the usual, seeing past the stereotype? Even the people we’ve known for years could be different people overnight. It’s not that they’ve never been, it’s just we’ve never seen. Cos most of the time, we see just what we want to see, and that’s just how perception is reality to us.

2008-09-18T15:07:00.004+08:00

this is purely throwing tantrums, nothing personal.

You know, sometimes when you don't feel like talking or telling something to somebody, it's normally because somebody has behaved so irritating that he puts on one of those moodiest faces even right before you're about to start a conversation, looking at you with his blood-shot eyes, and ready to jump at you with both claws.It's just so unnecessary.

god I hate when that happens.

my supergrand plans.................... all amount to nothing.

2008-09-17T18:53:00.007+08:00

so.. I've been here for like what, more than a week now? and guess what, I ditch all my supergrand plans eventually. You know, the plan is to have a mandarin conversation tuition, get myself shaped in a gym and learn how to play tennis. Okay, I'm not gonna sugarcoat anything here so actually, I came here all prepared with a way more ambitious plan like getting myself to learn how to play the guitar, how to dance and sing. yea.. laugh all u want. I'm zero.

Now the funny thing about that is, I'm not even in for anything more supergrand than the plan. I somehow ended up doing nothing but lying on the bed, slacking and watching Samantha Who?. Truth be told, hell yea it feels good. But that's just a good getaway for just some time at just times. More often than not, I feel so bored and idle. I think, after those 8 months of being idle explains enough about how not enthused I am having a holiday and not doing anything. If anything, and I know this is gonna sound insane, I miss school. I miss waking up early in the morning -I dont even mind waking up for an 8 o'clock class-, getting in the train and being in those classes with all my classmates. o well..

the good thing about being here is that I'm like dragged into a dreamland where I get to be anywhere I like conveniently, and well........ that's it. And of course, it's some kind of heavenish where you can find those good food that's easy on the eye and so good for the tummy kind of food every other mile. We've got plenty of restaurants and cafes and those stalls on sidewalks.

and well of course, family is here. My mom, dad and grandma. You know, when you get to be home like this, this is actually the only chance where you have your quality time with your family. So here I am having it.

Okay then.. off I go now. buying dinner.. hint : nasi padang!! yay!

till then, peeps.

2008-09-11T19:51:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, what you've always wanted isn't necessarily far from you. Not necessarily unreachable, out of your league, or anything they call it for all that matters. More often than not, it's right there in front of you, within your reach and you just need to grip like you're making a fist. But then again, what matters is that are you even going to act on it? God knows we want so much it hurts to act on it, but at the end of the day, do we even make the first move?

Now, me..
I dont think I have.
And maybe that's why people say that life can be an asshole of the grandest kind sometimes. no, really.

Here's a thought.

2008-09-11T18:22:00.007+08:00

So.. I'm back in hometown finally. Got here on Monday actually. Well, so far it's been quite fun. I mean, what's not? food is something I've been craving for quite some time and finally I've got to wallow in all that (well, not "all" literally) , and people are those I've missed for like 24/7 and I've met almost all of them. So yea, it's fun here.

Anyway, I am now in my most-visited coffee shop here. Well, not that it's my most favorite coffee shop I would say, only that it's the least crowded and noisy and it's got a cool foosball table so yea, I like chilling out here. And I'm alone now. Yep, I'm quite a loner sometimes. You know, there's always this loner mood kicking in every once in a while. I just feel like writing and sipping and not socializing. =P

Well, I've been quite socialized today though. I just had a couple-of-hours meeting with a friend, chatting together over a cup of tea and clouds of smoke which I'm quite concerned of how shorter my life would be hanging around a chain-smoker. o well =P.. anyway, choky, I would say.
Well, before that, I had lunch with another friend during her lunch break at work. We went to this newly launched italian restaurant near home and I had pasta, she had pasta, we had a pan of pizza and we Italy-zed it all the way. (okay, no such word like italy-ze, peeps) =P

Well, nothing much has changed here actually. Just a number of restaurants popped open recently, and places seem quite the same. I drove for a couple of hours yesterday and was quite disheartened and paralyzed at the same time while getting stuck in the fierce jam where cars overtook each other and sped up for, well overtaking each other of course. I needed some time to adapt you know, like when a puppy pet is unleashed into a jungle of lions and tigers, it shivers too. So yea, it's kinda scary. Well, I dont wanna sound too sappy but that's how it is here if you drive. It's like getting into the wild. wilder than those zoos or underwater world or anything in singapore. you name it. =P

see those long rows behind

Well, I cant even start to explain how stoked I was when I first got here monday night. It all came to me when I jumped in the car and was driven home. I thought of millions of things to do and stories to tell, but well, I guess I've started losing the momentum by now. If anything, I dont feel like I'm a part of all these anymore. I was once.
Here's what I realized, before coming here, I really missed home and all of it, but it dawned on me later in the day that maybe, from time to time, home has shifted and it's no longer that place now. Maybe, from time to time, our homes differ as we grow and outgrow them. Home is like misplaced by another, and that's simply -as interesting as it is- what keeps our lives humming. Things change as we change, and that's just how not boring it is sometimes, and exciting if you're lucky enough. And so it occured to me, why not make it not boring at least, and try to see and be in as many places as we can, simply just to make our way to living life to the fullest.

Well, I know it sounds like it's a regular speakeasy to you, but I'd say, it's a worthy effort, time wise. You know, we live once and it's damning fleeting if you ever realize. So why not find your time-to-time homes, and live happily in that ultimate one. Well, I'll at least try, and who cares if I'm wrong. Who's anybody to say anything anyway?

2008-09-04T12:50:00.006+08:00

here's somewhat I think of my today's to-do list.

1. clean my bedroom.
2. wash the bathroom.
3. do the laundry.
4. do the ironing.
5. change the bedsheet.
6. sort the clothes into the wears and non-wears.
7. rearrange the wardrobe .
8. read about Scandinavian countries.
9. start reading my book.
10. keep myself awake, be less ignorant and start being a grown-up that I supposedly am.

and here's what I think of my everlasting to-do thing, again for the zillionth time:
save up, for god's sake, save up!!!

and so I'll start with number one straight after lunch. And for the time being, enjoy the moment of nothingness and relish the beef noodle I am having to the fullest.

counting the hours to the toil...

till then, peeps.

last week

2008-09-01T21:37:00.015+08:00

I haven’t written in quite a long time. Well, I did post an entry about my biking trip last week, but I hardly wrote since the abundant pictures said a thousand words. I’ve been wanting to write lately, especially since I’ve finished exams, but it’s been a week now and I haven’t posted anything for some reasons I’m not even sure of. Nor have I started, well resumed to be specific, reading my long-stowed books deep inside the cupboard here next to me. I’m looking at it now, and I feel even guiltier. =P Anyway, that’s the thing about needs: when you get them met, you don’t need them anymore. Have you ever felt this way before? It’s like when I was in the exams period, I’ve thought of zillions of things to do and fun to go straight after the exams, wishing it be over soon, but now, I don’t feel like doing all those things and I’m contented with things they are.

Okay, I always have hard time remembering what I did days ago, even yesterday seemed quite blurry to me. Let’s see what I’ve still got depending on my wee hindsight. I had the Economics paper on Monday, I went for a shopping spree on Tuesday, buying things for the picnic on the next day, went to the Henderson Waves after the picnic, and............................................................................... uh-oh, I really am having a hard time remembering what I did from Wednesday onwards. Well, let me think……. honestly, nothing significant happened after that day cos what I did on any day between Wednesday and today pretty much resembles what I did on a day before and after it. Urrm… get what I mean? Well, whatever. Don’t bother reading that sentence over and over again if you don’t get it the first time you read. It doesn’t mean you’re stupid, okay? Please don’t take this personally. At most, it just means that you’re not smart. kekeke =P

Anyway, I just remembered what I did yesterday, like I went to the temple in the afternoon, bought some stuffs for friends in hometown, had lunch and had dinner. Okay, that sounds boring, of course I had lunch and dinner yesterday. What I’m trying to say is that my sis made pasta for dinner yesterday. It’s the nicest aglio oglio spaghetti I’ve ever liked. And by nicest, I mean nicest with a capital N. It’s goooo-oood! I wish I took a picture of it with me drooling.

And oh, I think it keeps coming back to me now. How could I forget the most major happening that I had for last week? Sometimes I just don’t get myself. Hais..

Okay, I’m spitting it out.

Wait for it…

I’m in a relationship!

Oh wait, that’s so wrong. okay, i'm kidding =P
I don’t wanna sound tacky, but I think if there’s someone who’s secretly in love with me right now, he/she is most probably having a heart attack and is just as relieved as earthly possible. Haha =P.. okay, I’m practically trying to be funny, so if you don’t find me funny, just say ha-ha, keep reading and don’t tell anybody.=P

Speaking of relationship, here’s a newsflash. Actually there’s a friend of mine who just newly got in a relationship lately. O well, not trying to be nosey, but it’s been very hot a topic and it’s just impossible not being nosey when everyone’s nosey about it. Well, if you see her wall on the facebook, you’ll get what I mean. =P So anyway, I’m congratulating you now, if you’re reading this, my-friend-who-just-got-in-a-relationship, a.k.a duckie. Haha =P

So where was I? Let’s get back on track. Okay, although my happening isn’t as happening as my friend’s happening, I think it’s happening enough. (and I should seriously stop saying happening)

So, my bro and sis got me a premature birthday gift last week. Well, my birthday is clearly still long, but we went to this store which was having a private sale, and I fell for this Ferragamo bag. It’s purple and nice.

And so I liked this bag, contemplated for a night, but no, I lamentably didn’t dream about it, and then I went back to the store on the next day, determined as ever. So we went there and I grabbed the bag high, as if it was my proudest moment. But that’s not the end of the story. I then saw a Celine, sandwiched in between its other fellow Celine bags, and that was when I started to lose my stance. It sat there very gracefully, as if it’s waving at me and sending shiver down my spine, and I was slowly swayed away from the ferragamo with my new-found heartthrob. You know, it’s what people call love at the first sight. And just like that, I fell out of love with F, just to fall into C.

Okay that’s a little farfetched, I know. =P

Well, you can say that I like it for no apparent reasons and against all logics where F is full leather and it’s got more value for the money, whereas C is just jeans material. Well, here’s the thing. I’ve never liked any jeans bag or wallet or whatsoever. At some points, I even dislike it. But this is clearly one exception; I can’t even start to explain why. So yea, love is blind. =P

Well, other than that, I went to this Bellini club on Saturday. Well, it’s more like a live band show where people get to dance in front of the stage. Some with upbeat songs and sometimes it’s almost like clubbing but less crowded. Quite fun though.

So that was last week.

I still have lots of things to write actually, but somehow I ended up writing something else. Happens all the time. I think I’ll get back to it some other time. I've lost the momentum now I guess.

I am so starved I can practically eat anything right now. And strangely my sister’s dead asleep beside me. Nothing to do with me feeling hungry though. mute point, peeps. =P

Remember when Carrie Bradshaw be a model for just one day despite her being a writer who’s got an inner model that struts on New York streets? I think this might be my all time most favorite scene. Watch this clip and you’ll get the same awe that I had the first time I watched it.

I had a choice. I could slink off the runway and let my inner model die of shame; or I could pick myself up, flaws and all, and finish.

And that’s just what I did. Because when real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep on walking.

east coast

2008-08-25T23:01:00.039+08:00

okay.. here's my long-stowed story to share. I know this is of late, but my friends (especially peiling--haha) are rather cranky now that I've been putting this off for whatever kinds of reason. =P

Anyway, if u guys noticed, I posted some pictures of me going cycling at east coast some time ago on my facebook actually. That was me happily cycling with a bunch of my friends after school. Long story short, it was sooo blardy fun. Well, accept for the part where I rode with hweimin in tandem where I screamed my lungs out every other 3 minutes begging her to drop me off. =P
I dunno why but riding a tandem, especially when u're the one at the back, felt like riding a roller coaster if u know what I mean. It's like hanging ur life on that other people's hands, and in this case, a very heartless like-it-very-much-when-I-scream-girl named hweimin who rode the bike so blardy fast I was scared half to death. Yes it's u, hweimin. It's you! =P Moreover, there were these 3 other kids cycling along and laughing so happily seeing me tortured like that. damn u kids.. There's actually this one kid (read: amanda) who didnt even know how to ride a bike. HAH! and she called herself a hip gal. dont even know how to ride a bike. Cuihh.. but she's just too thick-skinned anyway, she laughed at me some more. Hais.. kids these days..

this is us waiting for the bus from school...

well, it's just the five of us going to east coast actually. hehe.. the other guys went to the movie on that day.

we took the bus to Holland Village, had lunch at the foodcourt nearby and tried this "Cold Rock" ice cream stall near there. Well, had fun mixing the ice cream and toppings.
Look at them kids busy with their ice cream.. hey one at a time! haaahh.. Kiiiiddddsss...

Only the thing is, I was kid at heart too. haha =P.. There I was so busy with my big cone on my own.
And dont ask me what happened to bei zhen. I've got lots of her funny candid pictures here with me. haha..

o well I like the place..
see the swinging chair? i think it's cute. haha..

and the nutrition facts board was just adorable. haha.. read it closely cos i think it's cute too. =P

up until this point, we were definitely stuffed and ready to roll. Let's hit the road!!!

Oh wait! peiling needs her time with her constipation. =P
and so we waited, waited, waited, waited and waited.haha..

up on the bus for almost one sublime hour.Okay, I really dunno what happened to bei zhen. haha =P candid it is!

followed by a 15 minute walk to east coast..

there we were on bikes, cycling happily. except for amanda who didnt know how to bike, of course. See that person in circle? yes' it's her! it's soooo her! HAHA!! poor bei zhen..

there she was..

and there she goes again..
loooseeerr..... looooseeerrrr... looooo-seeeeer
hahaha =P
*peace, amanda..*

nice views

we had our break, ate (again), and then had another round of biking.

and here we go again camwhoring for the last time before leaving. loving it. ^^

we were so tired waiting for the bus going home..
I was too tired to walk and I asked amanda to poof home together, and she stupidly wanted to, and so we stupidly held hands together and stupidly jumped while saying "POOF".
clearly, nothing happened.
haha

and by the end of the day, I was as dark as earthly possible. see those different colors? haha..

so that's all about our trip. quite long ago though.. I just get the chance to blog about it now.

Aaaaanyways... what's with the weather these days?? it's been raining 24/7 literally. My laundry's not dry and even my dishes need a whole day to dry. oh-so-irritating..

Here's how the sky looks every single day.
See those dark clouds shrouding all over?
o well that's just how it is prior to the rain. When it rains, it rains hard. And I'm not just talking about any rain, you know.. I'm talking about that torrential downpour kind of rain.

and this is how it looks when it rains every single day. it's almost like complete mist all over if you know what I mean. at some points, I no longer see those buildings in front.

Anyway, this is my one and only view during the exam period which is soooo boring..
But good thing is that the tap water is even cold bcos of the weather. it's kinda fun jumping in the freezing cold shower after a long day of mugging. it's like being drenched and slapped till u wake up all over again, ready for another round of flattening ur ass off and mugging like there's no tomorrow. haha =P

But that's it! Exam's finally over!!!!!!!! I am so free now and I cant be bothered by any school thingy. Holiday starts from today till october 12. I'm going home on september 8 and I just cant wait!

It's going to be lots and lots of me babbling here, so just wait for other entries to come and bore u down. haha =P.. o well, dont say I didnt warn u, peeps..

Happy vacation!
*poof*

that I would be good

2008-08-22T17:43:00.004+08:00

here's hoping.

that i would be good even if i did nothing
that i would be good even if i got the thumbs down
that i would be good if i got and stayed sick
that i would be good even if i gained ten pounds

that i would be fine even if i went bankrupt
that i would be good if i lost my hair and my youth
that i would be great if i was no longer queen
that i would be grand if i was not all knowing

that i would be loved even when i numb myself
that i would be good even when i'm overwhelmed
that i would be loved even when i was fuming
that i would be good even if i was clingy

that i would be good even if i lost sanity
that i would be good whether with or without you

-alanis morissette that I would be good-

tag board!!!

2008-08-10T10:08:00.002+08:00

okay.. i've attached a tag board on the page, finallllyyyy.... well, just leave anything there if there is, and it's slightly an easier way to comment on the entries (if u're soooo blardy lazy to leave an appropriate comment =P)..
and hey peeps, there's no comment from anybody lately T.T .... nothing!!! o well..
so yea.. let's chat ^^

talkin' talk.

2008-08-09T00:30:00.007+08:00

Not trying to freak myself out, but exam’s just a week away. By right, I should be studying by this time around. But let’s just put all those things aside for the moment, and I’ll deal with them tomorrow, afterwards. Sounds promising enough, eh? Well, more like.. sounds soothing enough for myself. =P

Anyway, when was the last time you had a very good talk with someone? Well, any conversation will do. You know, a very good talk with your friend (or anybody) over a cup of coffee, where you talk about your life, about his notion or hers, or anybody’s or anything. The kind of talk that keeps you engaged, talking and talking and you have yourself constantly prompted by something about that other person which you can always relate with. Well, it just feels good, don’t you think?

So, I was craving for one today. And what first came into my mind was to have a dinner with friends. I texted two of them, but eventually only one was available, and it happened to be the one that I haven’t met in quite a long time. Here’s what I noticed though.. When you haven’t met a friend in a very long time, apparently your meeting tends to turn into a reenactment of your past conversations, which by the way, resembles those past conversations very much, like.. “So, how long did you say that you were there last month?”, followed by, “Oh, it was your cousin’s birthday party, if I’m not mistaken?”. And there was a lot of, “You did say that you were having holiday at that time, rite?” and much of, “What was it again?”.
And oh.. lots of this too: “oh ya I remember it now!”
See?? Haha.. =P

Well, don’t get me wrong, okay.. It’s not like it happens all the way throughout the dinner. The thing is, how would you have that nice talk if all you do is fumbling through your mind which you’ve kept deep inside your mind-drawer months ago? And every time there’s something “hot” enough to talk about, we need to re-explain the situation, and that just knocks the whole thing off course, ended up talking about something else. I’m not even engaged in the conversation for every 3 minutes, busy reminiscing what it was that sounded familiar yet was forgotten about.
I’m a Libra, okay.. And just like any other Libras, we forget a lot! A LOT. =P

Well, now it seems that it’s very hard to have that nice talk again. It’s just hard to find someone to have with. I guess I had it like two months ago, and that was the last of it. O well..
Here’s the thing though.. even if you’ve had it with someone, it doesn’t mean that you’ll have it again with him the next time you meet, or any other next times. It’s just that, when you’re bound to have it, the two of you just click at that very moment.
It’s like the mood just kicks in, and that’s when you make the most of it.

praying for time

2008-07-25T02:41:00.008+08:00

Well, if you remember this.. American Idol 08, George Michael gave the creep and owned the stage. I dont have a say except..
stunning, disarming and true.

Praying for Time (click me)
These are the days of the empty hand
you hold on to what you can
And charity is a coat you wear
Twice a year

This is the year of the guilty man
Your television takes a stand
And you find that what was over there
Is over here

And its hard to love,
Theres so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above
Say its much too late
Well maybe we should all be
Praying for time.